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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”
⏲ 4:49 👁 19.6M
Citytv
⏲ 2 minutes 46 seconds 👁 22.3K
TMJ4 News
⏲ 4 minutes 38 seconds 👁 3.7K
A teenager has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after three people were attacked 'with a sharp object' at a school.<br/><br/>Emergency services rushed to Birley Community College in Sheffield, South Yorks., at around 8.50am this morning (May 1) after a child and two adults were injured.<br/><br/>The attack plunged the school into lockdown.<br/><br/>A child was checked over after being assaulted and two adults were also examined at the scene after suffering minor injuries, South Yorkshire Police said.<br/><br/>A 17-year-old boy was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and is being held in police custody, the force said.<br/><br/>A spokesperson said: \
⏲ 1:21 👁 40.9M
BabyCenter
⏲ 58 seconds 👁 39.2K
The University of Vermont Medical Center
⏲ 2 minutes 👁 42.9K
A 13-year-old boy and two others still at large were charged in the Kajang Magistrate's Court on Friday (May 3) for animal cruelty by setting a kitten on fire last week.<br/><br/>CCTV footage of the incident has gone viral.<br/><br/>Read more at https://tinyurl.com/3xjwzk68<br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline
⏲ 1:13 👁 3.5M
Michigan Medicine
⏲ 41 seconds 👁 105.1K
Jen Rivera Bell
⏲ 13 minutes 26 seconds 👁 1.9K
A FORMER race car driver has built a one-of-a-kind vehicle never before seen on the roads - a 1952 Ford pick-up truck that drives BACKWARDS. Davey Hamilton, from Indianapolis, was struggling to find the truck of his dreams. But having been inspired by his friend in Maine, another former driver who owned a truck, Davey decided to take things one step further. But to build his backwards truck, Davey had to first find a truck with a big back window that could act as a windscreen. Davey told R.Rides: “A lot of the older trucks have really small back windows; they don’t have the wide ones. I couldn’t find a truck with a big back window. I happened to find this truck three miles from my father’s house and knew I had to get it.” The truck had its original body, frames and pedals. “We had put the lights on obviously, going the wrong direction. I didn't know what to do for bed cover. So, we figured to keep the rustic look.” Davey had to do a lot of work for the truck to work just right. “We had to cut a hole between the bed of the truck and the cab of the truck for your feet to go in. And so that had to be sealed up so there's no water getting inside the truck.” With the seats in and doors on, the truck still had a little to go before making its road debut. The windshield wipers got installed to make it safe, so the truck had everything that’s required to get going. “It looks like it's supposed to go forward. And so, it took some time and to get everything levelled out and make sure that was mounted properly.” And Davey loves his creation for lots of reasons. “Number one, it’s an attention getter. Number two, it's definitely a fan favourite, number three, it was a lot of work. There's new people that see it every time we take it out and it's definitely a crowd getter.”
⏲ 5:2 👁 8.6M
WAVY TV 10
⏲ 2 minutes 20 seconds 👁 888
Mama Natural
⏲ 6 minutes 24 seconds 👁 13.7K
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