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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_i-was-talking-about-the-kind-of-respect-you-give-a-9234significant-other9234-not-your-bossflex60369.webp "Carlos Redd2.0")
_alone-feat-ivri.webp "SadBoyProlific")
_referees-in-creamline-petro-gazz-game-to-be-re-assigned-says-pvl-exec.webp "Referees in Creamline-Petro Gazz game to be re-assigned, says PVL exec<br/><br/>Premier Volleyball League (PVL) Commissioner Sherwin Malonzo clarifies that first referee Bobby Celso will be re-assigned and not suspended amid talk on social media over a controversial call he made during the Creamline-Petro Gazz game last Thursday, May 2, 2024 that favored the Cool Smashers. Malonzo emphasized that it was the referee’s judgement and the referees did not do anything wrong to merit a suspension. Malonzo said, however, that Celso and the other referees involved in that game will not be officiating for the duration of the tournament.<br/><br/>Video by Nicole Anne D.G. Bugauisan<br/><br/>Subscribe to The Manila Times Channel - https://tmt.ph/YTSubscribe<br/> <br/>Visit our website at https://www.manilatimes.net<br/> <br/> <br/>Follow us: <br/>Facebook - https://tmt.ph/facebook<br/> <br/>Instagram - https://tmt.ph/instagram<br/> <br/>Twitter - https://tmt.ph/twitter<br/> <br/>DailyMotion - https://tmt.ph/dailymotion<br/> <br/> <br/>Subscribe to our Digital Edition - https://tmt.ph/digital<br/> <br/> <br/>Check out our Podcasts: <br/>Spotify - https://tmt.ph/spotify<br/> <br/>Apple Podcasts - https://tmt.ph/applepodcasts<br/> <br/>Amazon Music - https://tmt.ph/amazonmusic<br/> <br/>Deezer: https://tmt.ph/deezer<br/><br/>Tune In: https://tmt.ph/tunein<br/><br/>#themanilatimes <br/>#philippines<br/>#volleyball <br/>#sports<br/>")
_nf-if-you-want-love.webp "NFrealmusic")
_morgan-wallen-thought-you-should-know.webp "Morgan Wallen")
_former-mma-fighter-became-an-amputee-after-a-cough-led-to-septic-shock.webp "A former MMA fighter who became an amputee after a cough led to septic shock is determined to walk again.<br/><br/>James Mackay, 52, developed a persistent cough and was admitted to Milton Keynes University Hospital, Buckinghamshire when it continued to get worse.<br/><br/>He was diagnosed with Strep A and went into septic shock - where blood pressure drops to a dangerously low level after an infection - a few days after being admitted. <br/><br/>The dad-of-two spent six weeks in a coma and three months in intensive care.<br/><br/>James had his fingers, thumbs and a both legs below the knee amputated after he was put on artificial life support called ECMO - extracorporeal membrane oxygenation - where blood is pumped out of the body and through devices that add oxygen and remove carbon dioxide from it. <br/><br/>The machine saved his life, but also meant his extremities weren't getting enough circulation as his body began to shut down and attempted to preserve only his vital organs. <br/><br/>James is home after a year in hospital and is determined to walk again on his new prosthetic legs.<br/><br/>James, who was working for a children's charity prior to being hospitalised, from Cranfield, Milton Keynes said: “Being a dad you’re supposed to be invincible.<br/><br/>\")
_uncle-lucius-keep-the-wolves-away.webp "unclelucius")
_khalid-talk-official-video.webp "Khalid")
_bridgerton-superfan-with-6k-of-period-clothing-92.webp "A Bridgerton superfan with a £6k wardrobe of period clothing says strangers constantly mistake her for an extra.<br/><br/>Sophie Andrews, 28, spent 10 years curating a regency wardrobe.<br/><br/>She owns 25 day dresses and 10 ballgowns -which are all handmade by her friend and fellow regency enthusiast, Abigail Rose, 33. <br/><br/>Sophie says she often gets mistaken for dressing specifically as a Brigerton character - and says people even think she's filming for the series.<br/><br/>She is looking forward to watching the latest season of Bridgerton where the protagonist, Penelope, is plus size like herself. <br/><br/>Sophie, an author, from Reading, Berkshire, said: “I’ve always loved Penelope as a character because she was on the side lines and not seen as pretty.<br/><br/>“I’m a larger girl so it will be nice to see that character coming into her own and getting her happy ending despite being seen as a wallflower who’s considered as pretty as the other characters.<br/><br/>“She deserves her happy ending, but I’m not sure about Collin, her love interest. He’ll have to impress me.<br/><br/>“I’ve watched every series with my best friend Abigail, and I suspect we’ll be staying up at midnight together to watch the first part of the new season.<br/><br/>“I’ve got very used to being out and about and people talking to me. It doesn’t faze me.<br/><br/>“People now stop me to speak about Bridgerton and I even get people asking if I’m filming something.”<br/><br/>Sophie has had a passion for regency clothing since she was 18 but says the rise of Bridgerton has led to a fresh attitude towards the period. <br/><br/>\")
_younger-hunger-dead-inside-official-audio.webp "Younger Hunger")
_seether-broken-ft-amy-lee.webp "Seether")
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